Mind Freedom gives Conscious Connection
Mind is your consciousness interface between the biological—the brain, central nervous system, heart and the rest of the physical human body—and other sources of awareness including your subconscious, the collective consciousness, and the super consciousness. Mind assimilates all the sources of consciousness that generate information inputs the bodybrain receives and decodes.
Because of the speed, complexity, and fragmentation in this world, you cannot pay attention to the entire overload of information presented to you. You must choose what you’ll focus on. The fact that you can make choices is the foundation of all 4 Freedoms. In Mind Freedom there are two levels of choice:
- The first is WHAT you think about—your attention.
- The second is HOW you think about what you think about—your intention.
Mind Freedom in Relationships
To continue creating a loving, long lasting relationship embrace the responsibility of Mind Freedom. Remain aware of WHAT and HOW you are thinking from moment to moment. You can choose to pay attention to what you want, rather than what you don’t want. aYou can think about what you want in a consistently positive way. By doing so you own your attention and intention. Your mind will tap into all its resources and present you with opportunities to actually make your ideas happen. Then you must take action to support your thoughts.
Paying Attention to what you Want
Paying attention to and thinking about relationship is of primary importance to your relationship success. How you think about relationship is typically dictated by learned, conditioned behaviors, beliefs and assumptions. Many of these are negative and lead to relationship failure. Become aware of relationship negative messages you give to others and yourself and shift them to positive messages. Concentrate on what you do want rather than what you don’t want.
Here are two examples:
- Having time for each other. Want more time with your partner?
- Focus on your desire to be together. Picture the moments you’ve had together and the pleasure that brings.
- If other thoughts begin to intrude, whining, “But we have so much to do, we can’t take time even though I want to. Other things are more pressing.” let them pass through.
- Replace them with “We do have a lot going on in our lives but we’re important and I want more time together. I know we can find some way to make that happen.”
- Possibilities will present themselves, situations will arise when you can choose to spend time together—or not. Seize those opportunities.
- Sustainability of Relationships. Want to spend a lifetime with your mate?
- Picture the two of you growing happy and healthy together into old age.
- When learned assumptions insinuate themselves into your head: “Most relationships don’t last”; “Passion dies;” “Lovers grow apart” send those thoughts out the window.
- Replace them with “Our relationship will thrive throughout the years.”
- Act on every opportunity that emerges to intensify your connection.
Pay careful attention and attempt to be an objective observer, your “witness consciousness” will identify exactly how your mind operates. Being aware of how you do what you do inside your head enables you to name it. Naming empowers you. When you name what you are doing, you gain emotional distance from it and so can choose to stop or to continue. This is freedom.
When you are involved in an activity watch yourself as if you were a character in a movie. What are you doing right now? Why and how are you doing it? Pay attention not so much to your specific actions but to the motivations and patterns behind them. Soon you will be able to recognize your own thought habits such as “Oh right now I’m in my worrying mode,” “Mmm, here is my loving state,” “Yikes, I’m taking a ‘wanting to be right’ stance,” “Aha, this is my conciliation manner.”
The more you do this the more aware you become. By engaging your witness consciousness you expand your capacity to eliminate your damaging behaviors and amplify your constructive ones.
Your Mate as a Mirror
For instance, use this powerful technique to recognize that your mate is a mirror for yourself. Commonly you may “project” on to your partner, blaming their deficiencies and faults as the cause of problems you may be having. But by employing your witness consciousness you many find that irritation with a mate often has roots in dissatisfaction with yourself. Are those partner traits that are bothering you right because you’re unhappy with your own frailties? You can recognize and name this “projection” and turn your gaze inward to make changes where they are really needed.
Celebrating Your Differences
At the outset of a romance partners are attracted by the opposite characteristics of their new lover as well as by the similarities. But after a certain period of time those differences may begin to lose their appeal. Whether it is from fear of loosing control of your partner, uncertainty of your own beliefs, a need to win or be always right, or a host of other reasons you may start to complain about your partner’s differences and to demand that they change. You want them to be more like you. Instead use your witness consciousness to step into your partner’s shoes. Allow each other room to breath, to be. Ask “What can I learn from how she thinks about this?” rather than “Why doesn’t she just agree with me?”. Consider “What benefits are there in his approach to this situation?” instead of “I wish he’d learn to do it my way”. Try things their way sometimes—you’ll find you may see with new eyes and a broader viewpoint. Your relationship will flourish, retaining its spark and passion over the years.