Surrendering and Letting Go of Results

Surrendering means you dive wholeheartedly into your actions, maintaining your vision of what you want but letting go of any expectation that things will turn out the way you planned. Instead of losing some imaginary freedom, this way of living offers you true freedom. When you surrender and let go of expectations about what the results of your actions will be, you will come to understand that even when things seem to go badly, in the longer perspective these seeming setbacks lead to larger outcomes that are extraordinary and filled with unanticipated delight.

You cannot fake surrender; you cannot pretend to give up expectation. You must simply let go and jump into the abyss.

In your relationship, letting go means to reveal the emotional truth of what is going on inside you. Vulnerable emotions are usually the fear and insecurity that lie below anger. In this you are taking a risk—the other person could reject, judge or take advantage of you. It means revealing your limitations and weaknesses, which may be as simple as admitting you don’t know how to do something or you don’t have the solution for a problem.

Revealing emotional vulnerabilities in a loving relationship will deliver immediate benefits in your life:

  • You give your partner permission to take off the mask of infallibility and perfection.
  • Your lover will be much more inclined to show you affection if you are vulnerable. Unbending strength is unapproachable, while being vulnerable is an invitation to intimacy. We are not talking about whining and complaining, or false modesty, but being true about your limitations and your capabilities. Revealing your vulnerabilities is not a strategy to seduce someone but an honest open attempt at real intimacy.

In sexuality, letting go means communicating to your partner about the things you like and do not like to have done to you or to do to your partner. You can talk about it. You can use sounds, demonstrate, read books or watch instructional videos to help communicate your likes and dislikes. Sometimes you also take the risk of trying new things that stretch your envelope, for example taking a Tantra workshop or a Communicating with Your Partner seminar.