Getting There vs Being Here
Because so much of human behavior is goal oriented, peoples’ attention is usually engaged in doing, with each action taken primarily to lead somewhere else. Actions then lose their intrinsic meaning—their only importance is to move you closer to your goal. But, when you are truly being you’re not concerned with reaching somewhere else—you’re already there.
Memory can rob you of being in the moment. Memory is quick to fill in the blanks, completing your thought, or your sensory impression, before the whole has been received and integrated into your experience. You remember the last time you saw something and you see it as you remember it, rather than as it is now. You do the same with all the senses—smelling what you have always smelled, hearing what you have heard before. You do not walk up the stairs now, you walk up the same stairs you have walked up countless times, without any awareness of what you are doing. You touch your lover’s body from memory. It is not real skin, it is the skin you remember having touched hundreds of times before.
Running on memory is like running on empty. There is just not enough juice in memory to sustain excitement, motivation and passion. You want something new; you want variety. If you touch new skin, if you see a different body, you pay attention in a way that makes you aware you are alive. After all as the saying goes, ”variety is the spice of life”. But you do not need to find variety and newness outside. Variety does not just come from what you see, but rather how you see it. If you really pay attention, you can train yourself to take in information through your senses as if for the very first time. Once you learn to consciously, intentionally, stay in the moment then no matter how many times you have touched, tasted, smelled or seen your lover’s skin, it will be unique and new.
There are simple tools—techniques common in meditative practices the world over—that we use as we’re learning to be here now. You already have the equipment you need, all that’s necessary is to put it into action. You can:
- Train your mind to focus—make it your servant, not your master.
- Get out of your head by going in to your senses.
- Utilize the extraordinary power of breath.
“How?” you ask. You’ll find the steps to take in following posts.