Sensory Perception

Paying attention to sensory information helps you learn to be fully present. In this practice you simply experience sensory phenomena, you do not analyze or even name what you are experiencing. Naming can set in motion a…

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Getting There vs Being Here

Because so much of human behavior is goal oriented, peoples’ attention is usually engaged in doing, with each action taken primarily to lead somewhere else. Actions then lose their intrinsic meaning—their only importance is to move you…

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Surrendering and Letting Go of Results

Surrendering means you dive wholeheartedly into your actions, maintaining your vision of what you want but letting go of any expectation that things will turn out the way you planned. Instead of losing some imaginary freedom, this way of…

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Control and Surrender in the Art of Love

Control

People love to be in control, it makes them feel safe and secure. Very few are attracted to what may be perceived as its opposite—being out of control. Out of control can be scary, frustrating, even terrifying…

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Calling Each Other on “Stuff”

Al says, “I get in ornery, crappy moods, and there is no logical rational reason for it. If Pala is in the same room, she gets a sour look or a harsh, disrespectful tone of voice.” …

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Your Lover as a Mirror for Yourself

It is easy to blame difficulties or stresses in relationship on the shortcomings or oversights of your partner. By slightly altering your assessment of the situation from “my partner as source of the problem” to “my partner…

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Qualities of Relationship vs. Characteristics of Partners

When asked to picture an ideal relationship, people often create a picture that focuses on the particular characteristics they would like in a partner. For instance: “I want a mate who makes me laugh, is a great…

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