Getting There vs Being Here

Because so much of human behavior is goal oriented, peoples’ attention is usually engaged in doing, with each action taken primarily to lead somewhere else. Actions then lose their intrinsic meaning—their only importance is to move you…

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Surrendering and Letting Go of Results

Surrendering means you dive wholeheartedly into your actions, maintaining your vision of what you want but letting go of any expectation that things will turn out the way you planned. Instead of losing some imaginary freedom, this way of…

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Control and Surrender in the Art of Love

Control

People love to be in control, it makes them feel safe and secure. Very few are attracted to what may be perceived as its opposite—being out of control. Out of control can be scary, frustrating, even terrifying…

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Calling Each Other on “Stuff”

Al says, “I get in ornery, crappy moods, and there is no logical rational reason for it. If Pala is in the same room, she gets a sour look or a harsh, disrespectful tone of voice.” …

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Your Lover as a Mirror for Yourself

It is easy to blame difficulties or stresses in relationship on the shortcomings or oversights of your partner. By slightly altering your assessment of the situation from “my partner as source of the problem” to “my partner…

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Dealing With Conflict

Being in a relationship can be overwhelming. It can seem difficult to maintain your individuality. Your sense of self, who you are and what you stand for, may be threatened when your mate has a decidedly different…

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Qualities of Relationship vs. Characteristics of Partners

When asked to picture an ideal relationship, people often create a picture that focuses on the particular characteristics they would like in a partner. For instance: “I want a mate who makes me laugh, is a great…

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Passionate, Spiritual Relationships

How do you know what a great relationship would look like if there aren’t any positive models to emulate? You make it up. You dare to imagine your heart’s dreams. If, like many people, you find it difficult to…

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Recognizing Relationship Fallacies

When you set out to learn about creating love, you will discover and confront a whole raft of relationship fallacies and negative models that influence your beliefs about what is possible. Dismal examples abound from high profile, highly…

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Your Relationship as a Spiritual Practice

What is Spiritual Practice?

Spiritual practice always includes a search for the deepest meaning in life. It can be a search for personal salvation or for a direct experience with the divine. Those who have the faith would make any…

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